dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
