East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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