I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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