I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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