You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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