I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
