This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need water and some morals
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
