i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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