Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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