They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
only you would photoshop your dick
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
