What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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