So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
