all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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