My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
