We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
