ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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