five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
