pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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