its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
