Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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