you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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