WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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