it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize