They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
