Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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