i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize