so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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