nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
