i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I didn't notice because vodka
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
