we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are we still banned from the library?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
