How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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