My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
