we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
