WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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