so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
