I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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