so that wasnt chicken after all
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
