Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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