Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
