i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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