I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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