they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
