how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize