I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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