He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
