There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
