dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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