Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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