how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You need a sexual gate keeper
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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