i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
