I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
