Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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