She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize