Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize