So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize