Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
