According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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