whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
