I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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