I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
