my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
