Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize