So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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