The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
