oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
