The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize