So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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