he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
