Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
