Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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