Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
