help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
