Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
